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Heather Haupt

Equipping Families to Live Cultivated Lives

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Cultivating Character… in me?

Written by Heather Haupt 8 Comments

I’ve always known of the great privilege we as parents would have in training our children and helping to shape and mold their character.  But I was not at all prepared for what a work God had in store on my own heart…

Can anyone else relate?

I remember a few years ago having a discussion in the car with my boys about lying.  I don’t remember all of the circumstances leading up to this conversation, but I was giving clarification on what lying was and had just started in on explaining white lies and leaving truth out to protect yourself.  By this point, I probably totally lost Keegan (then barely 3) and I’m not sure how much Xander was getting.  {My eyes were on the road, after all.}  But the lesson certainly wasn’t lost on me.  I was convicted in so many areas where I had ‘fudged’ on the truth to protect myself or my reputation.  It was one of those ‘ouch’ moments when I realized that my kids were witness to my entire life and inconsistencies in not living out what I was preaching would be glaringly obvious.

That was the day that I learned that character development wasn’t just a ‘me imparting to them’ thing.  God was using parenting as a means of character development for me too.  Homeschooling simply puts that into overdrive since we are spending every day, all day with our children.

Just this weekend, we were discussing patience in the car.  {Funny how many of our spiritual conversations take place in the car…}  Our curriculum is character based and our current unit centers on the trait of patience.  The boys were sharing ways they had or had not been patient that week.  Meanwhile, I’m in a dreamy state as I pulled into the garage, thinking how wonderful it is to see them excited about growing in these areas when Keegan pulls a fast one on me.

He loudly announces that Aunt B and I had NOT been very patient the week before when trying natural dyes for Easter eggs.  He pointed out our frustration over the cabbage infused purple dye and our complaining that it wasn’t working when we simply needed to be patient…

We had noted his extraordinary patience, but had no idea that he has noted our lack of it.

:sigh:

They notice – EVERYTHING.  I’m so thankful for children’s unabashed honesty and opportunities for growth.  I’m thankful that we don’t have to be fake in front of them (because we can’t).  I can tell them that I’m a work in progress too.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to point them to the one that can help us change and enable growth!

I’m thankful to be a parent.

And so I continue to jot down my list of gratitude as I make way towards 1,000!

Grateful for… (Gifts 753-766)

Spiritual conversations with my children.

Awakening of interest in the Lord with my second son!

Singing “What Can Wash Away Our Sins” duets with my oldest – in the privacy of our own home, of course.

Hearing my 3 year old crawl up in Oma’s lap during church on Sunday and in whispers walking her through his heart lesson.  (He was fussy that day and I didn’t think he really got much out of it.)

Celebrating outside with hundreds on a breezy Easter morning!

A three year old desperately trying to down dinner so he can have some dessert.

Finally getting a family picture where everyone is sort of looking in the general direction of the camera and smiling!

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Filed Under: gratitude, Inspired Learning, Intentional Parenting Tagged With: KONOS, Parenting-Spiritual

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Christine says

    April 27, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Wonderful post! I have totally felt those ouch moments- God is pretty sneaky about that, isn’t He? Have you read the book “Sacred Parenting” by Gary Thomas. It is incredible in outlining the exact things you’re talking about here: God using parenting as a vehicle to refine us. Powerful! Thanks for this reminder to me today!

    Reply
  2. Heather@Cultivated Lives says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    Camille, isn’t it such a simple yet wonderful song?!?!?

    Cassandra, it is wonderful to ‘meet’ you today!

    Christina, thanks for the sweet comment!

    Reply
  3. Heather@Cultivated Lives says

    April 26, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Heather, all photos with me in them are courtesy of my sister!!! I’m usually the one taking them, so it is nice to have someone else around! Someday, I’ll have built in help like you do.

    And I just love how friendships can spring up even though we have never met!

    Reply
  4. Cassandra says

    April 26, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Love it! What a sweet family. 🙂
    Cassandra
    http://www.unplugyourfamily.blogspot.com

    Reply
  5. Heather says

    April 26, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    I love your honesty–that always helps me to assess myself when a “friend” 🙂 has been open about her own shortcomings.

    I ADORE this family photo!
    AND I’m so happy to see you in some of the pics, Heather!

    Reply
  6. Christina says

    April 26, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Beautiful family! I love what you’re doing with the kids on character. Hope you can join us on Thursdays:)
    Blessings to you and yours,
    Christina

    Reply
  7. Camille says

    April 26, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Too cute! Oh…they do not miss a thing!! 🙂

    I *love* to sing “what can wash away my sin” too. 🙂

    Many blessings to you!
    Camille

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. “I Can’t Homeschool Because I’m Not Patient Enough” says:
    March 12, 2013 at 1:24 am

    […] ♥ Experiencing character growth yourself. […]

    Reply

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Childhood is magical and ever so brief. Let's make the most of these years by pursuing intentional parenting, inspired learning and integrated living!

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 In a fit of mental abstraction, I started a new book AND a grilled cheese at the same time. Shakespeare analysis and cooking do not go hand in hand. 😖😜 #brightestheavenofinvention #peterleithart #shakespeare
Instagram post 2239059193557254835_1420023259 When all those dance lessons this year pay off... 1860-1900 Masquerade Ball!
Instagram post 2235262231225123070_1420023259 When your hubby goes to Arizona for the #RagnarDelSol and returns with a suitcase full of lemons... 😍🍋😍🍋😍 One of the unexpectedly difficult things about moving from AZ to north Texas was the realization that for the first time in your life, you would have to pay for winter citrus...
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The security at the airport said that was the most lemons they had ever seen someone bring thru on a carry on. So excited for homemade strawberry, blueberry, and vanilla lemonade, my husband's specialties!
Instagram post 2233761686907905573_1420023259 Fridays are for fort building... .
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After several days of gray cold, sunshine beckoned us outside. Actually, they've been working on clearing an area for this fort all week even in the cold. Today is finally warm and 🌞 enough for me to traverse the mesquite forest to join them... #NatureTherapy #everychildoutdoors #momtoo
Instagram post 2233099506281729942_1420023259 You can have a usually tidy home or regularly imaginative children, but seldom do the two simultaneously go hand in hand. She's playing house, raising her children, and informed me she's in the middle of moving... 😯 We can tidy up later... or not... as is evidenced by the hand made basketball hoop still hanging to the side which we ended up incorporating into our space for the time being. But there is peace when we recognize the purpose in their play. #powerofplay #wildandfreechildren #encouragingimagination
Instagram post 2232104592257556739_1420023259 The teen years are such an amazing season of coming into your own, thinking deeply about the world around you as you transition into adulthood. My teens have stepped up to new challenges this year with their education that have really stretched them (and me). Mondayy, my oldest participated in his first debate. This guy has delved deep into Scripture and borrowed books to understand both sides and prep for his debate. All four did a fabulous job thinking these issues through and participating with their assigned position and I love the conversations it has sparked between the four of them as well as in our own home! .
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👉👉 Learning to research, learning to reason, and learning to listen to another's arguments are such invaluable skills that will stick with them for the rest of their lives! 👈👈 We are thankful for Worldviews of the Western World curriculum and the Worldview Classes in our area that have provided so much for our homeschool year.
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